Hello Bloggees! As none of you know, I’ve always been a huge Alice in Wonderland fan. Everything from the classic Lewis Carroll poems and stories, the Disney movie, to that random psychedelic (fitting) 90’s cartoon, “Adventures in Wonderland.” It’s a story that has been translated into countless different mediums. Still my all time favorite version of Alice in Wonderland has to be “American McGee’s Alice,” a cult PC game that I’ve shredded through dozens of times.

Fungiferous Flora

The story of American McGee’s Alice starts with Alice (Duh,) sleeping soundly in her bed, off in dreamland. When an oil lamp, knocked over by a black cat, starts a fire that rapidly blazes across the house. Alice gets out alive, but only after not being able to save her parents as they scream for her to get out of the house. Only Alice survives. Blaming herself for the accident Alice falls into a dark depression. The darkness in her mind seeps into her fantasy world and Wonderland is no longer a place for dreams and teatime. It becomes a land of slaves and despair.

“Only the foolish believe suffering is just wages for being different”

The basis of the game is simple, you play Alice, armed with a myriad of demonic toys and aid her on her journey to the Red Queen, the source of her inner demons. Slay the Queen and you release Alice from her torment. All with the help of rhymes and riddles of the Cheshire Cat, who has a catchy verse for every toy you find (“Here’s a Riddle for you: When if a croquet mallet like a billy club? I’ll tell you: whenever you want it to be.”) Plus you get kick ass power ups like Dogs of War (above) and the crazy bug Tea that lets you jump around something crazy. Did I mention Chris Vrenna of Nine Inch Nails composed the soundtrack? It’s pretty bad ass.

The game is so fucking amazing I can hardly stand it. But now I fear for it’s life. Because something potentially horrible has happened to this cult classic: Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Don’t get me wrong. I own every season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and have an unnatural emotional involvement with the characters of both Buffy and Angel. But Miss Gellar has decided that with her small fortune she was going to buy the rights to the American McGee’s Alice film. It seems like most fans are horrified because her owning the film means she gets to star in it.

It doesn’t help that none of the writers have much previous experience. This movie is just one big Crap shoot.

The film’s scheduled for release in July, though that’s a very lose estimate. I’m really not sure how I feel about it. A film could be amazing. . . or it could be horribly tragic. Video Game movies have a really bad habit of sucking (Need I mention Final Fantasy: Advent Child/The Spirits Within or do I dare remind you of Alone in the Dark?)

Click the Poster for some IMDB Goodness

Still I do have hope! And even if the movie sucks major balls at least it won’t ever be the worst Alice in Wonderland film adaptation. I’m pretty sure Alice in Wonderland: The Musical Porno will hold that place forever.